| yea. |
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| 10:42am 18/09/2007 |
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mood:  aggravated
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So I was nudged.
But I don't really have the time to say anything.
My next class starts in ten minutes.
Normally I'd just be late but our school system is so focused on tardiness
that they don't really care if students are comfortable learning,
I quite frankly don't give a fuck about this entire school.
I don't respect any of the administrators.
And if they decide to punish me for my actions they can kiss my ass.
I'm not going to stay after schoo for a half an hour because I was two minutes late to class.
Fuck, they should just be happy that I actually show up.
Plus, the consequence for being absent is the same for being tardy.
Maybe next time I just won't show up.
I would really like to stay in school and have a senior year
but I don't want to stay in this building fof another year.
Nothing is about the enjoyment of learning
Its all about following these bullshit rules and being dictated by sick fucks who had a terrible highschool life.
FUCK THEM. |
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2 Lend me your fears |
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| 02:20pm 16/11/2006 |
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Today I miss him alot. And there isnt anything I can do about it.
Yesterday I was fading out of the idea that he was in love with me. But then I heard the tone of his voice over the phone.
A week ago I was convinced that everything was over. And I spend hours crying in my room with the shades pulled down.
Which something i never do.
A month ago things were perfect. We were happily in love. And nothing kept him from seeing me.
Now walls have been built to stop everything. And I keep fighting and fighting. Hoping that he'll fight too.
But he hasn't. And he probably won't. But thats all his choice to make.
I still dream about him. And I wonder if he dreams of me.
I still think about him. And I wonder if he thinks about me.
I still write about him. And I wonder if he writes about me.
I still talk about him. And I wonder if he talks about me.
And I still yern for him. And I wonder if he yerns for me.
I am in such an uncomfortable position with the unknowing constantly changing my mind.
And convincing me of things that aren't real.
Like has he moved on?
Is he fucking some other girl without even a slight thought of me/
Does he still care?
Is he sick of my e-mails and phone calls?
Is he sick of me?
But I still love him so much it hurts my skin.
I love my dandelion. |
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6 Lend me your fears |
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| I can't take my mind off of you. |
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| 04:01pm 03/11/2006 |
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mood:  crushed
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It's always such a shock when everything changes right before your eyes. When nothing is the same as it was moments before. Your never ready.
And I sure as hell would never be. I just never thought he would just give up on me. |
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Lend me your fears |
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| 05:21pm 03/10/2006 |
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1. move out of my parents' house
2. Get a real job
3. be significant
4. live my life on my own terms, not trying to live up to the expectations of others
5. wake up when my alarm clock goes off
6. love myself completely
7. smile more
8. Get a tattoo that has meaning
9. drink more water
10. open a coffee shop
11. be a better daughter
12. be free
13. do something nice for someone everyday
14. learn to forgive myself and others
15. realize my potential
16. reduce my environmental footprint
17. live for me
18. detox my body
19. marry my best friend♥
20. live simply |
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1 Lend me your fears |
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